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DAD JOKES

THE CLASSICS

 

  • Situation:
    Waitress asks you if you want dessert.
    In response you say “No thanks, I'm already sweet enough!” This will be sure to impress both the waitress, and your kids.

  • When Dad asks what do you want for supper and you answer "I don't care"  That's what you'll get, as soon as he figures out how to make it.

  • **** Don't ignore these warnings.  *****                                                           "Watch for Pedestrians",                                                                from that strange land Pedestria.

  • When you ask a Pedestrian (Pronounced - Ped A Streee An.) where their country is they pretend not to know.  They can be very convincing!  Don't be Fooled!  It can't be found in any atlas or on any globe.  They may be aliens!

 

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ON THE ROAD AGAIN

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  • Whenever leaving on a road trip it's imperative that the opening lines to "On the Road Again" by Willie Nelson are sung.  Terrible consequences could result if not.  TERRIBLE  Consequences!

  • Whenever you leave your kids in the car while you go into the convenience store, say "Don’t sell the car... Unless you get a good deal."

  • Also "Be back in two shakes of a lamb’s tail."

WHAT TO KEEP BRINGING UP TO YOUR CHILDREN

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  • How they don't make you a website. The primary driver here is to really push that, although your kids are going to school for something completely unrelated to website development, that they should know how to make a website anyways.

  • If you ever borrow camping gear from Doug, such as sleeping bag, make sure you bring it back, or else he will keep reminding you about it for the next 4 years.

  • Always let your kid's know when you've beaten the game they're playing while they were asleep.  Don't tell them how you beat it in a fraction of the time of normal game play.  That would be cheating and dishonest.

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